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Cirque Du So-Lame
So it's a rainy public holiday, and housemate Flex Chong and I are bored. We've never even been to acting school.When suddenly we suddenly had a sudden idea!Seriously. Never had one lesson.Of...
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Cirque Du So-Lame Part 2: The Lamening
Update: Being fifteen different kinds of idiot, I posted a link to this blog on my facebook page. It didn't occur to me that Gemma the...
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Those Magnificent Bastards
Everybody’s got a friend in a band.When you have a friend who’s in a band, you’re pretty much obliged to go to their gigs. When you go to their gigs, regardless of how awkward or clumsy they are,...
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Every Day For A Year #17
(This is that bit where I express shock that you don't know what's going on here, but offer a link for you to catch up. And this other sentence is the bit where I link to something fleetingly awesome...
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I'd Call It Mama Mia, But That's The Name Of Another Blog.
I've been crap, haven't I.Inconsistent blog updates with eons between them. I know. I know. And I'm sorry.Well, as sorry as a self-indulgent brat with delusions of grandeur can be, anyway.The kind of...
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Every Day For A Year #18
(Dammit. I can never remember if you're more of a "what's the background story here" person or a "zombie garden gnome" person. If you're the former, check here. If you're the latter, check here....
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Every Day For A Year #19 or: A-Yibbida-Yibbida
A little over a year ago at the pub, my mate Frosty told me that he was going to take a photo every day for a year, to hone his mad rectangular picture-making skillz.I asked him if I could post the...
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Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Seven - Fly The Scraggy Skies
I can hear a distant sound. It’s like... like two hundred feet tapping, with undertones of swishing polyester and the tortured raising of eyebrows. That, coupled with the unmistakable odour of hot...
View ArticleThe Inside Seam, And How I Sometimes Forget To Be Up Myself.
I can't believe I haven't properly plugged this here yet, what with my penchant for self-promotion tantamount to listening to an opera singer warming up (me me me me me), but check it out!While we're...
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Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Seven #1
Youknow those days when you wake up with your hair already looking good, you find twenty dollars in your jacket pocket, you’ve lost four kilos overnight and you tongue-pash Jason Statham while James...
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Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Seven #2
Might I just start by saying that there is little to no chance that this episode will be known as ‘The Good Hair Episode’.Instead, I’ll just say SACRE BLEU! that was a good episode (which means ‘Holy...
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Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Seven #3
So I was going to start with some kind of joke about how with the beach, the pool and the buckets, this episode of Australia’s Next Top Model made people all wet, but I know that you’ve come to expect...
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Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Seven #4
Honestly, if I had a dollar for every time I’ve worn a wig and six-inch heels in a coffin straight after pretending to be a mannequin in a David Jones window and a quick yoga session, I’d have four...
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Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Seven #5
There are three things I would step over a burning nun to get to: a perfect dirty martini, a sloppy cheese, Jason Statham’s general pelvic area, the ability to count, and a Top Model makeover episode....
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Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Seven #6
If the eyes are the windows to the soul, then the whole face is like the garage roller-door to the psyche. Either that, or I really need to start buying better fortune cookies.Sure, it might seem that...
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Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Seven #7
This week, it’s all about nature – its fury, its unexpected generosity, its effect on air travel, and its cute widdle animals.They love nature over at Top Model headquarters. They love it so much they...
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Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Seven #8
I haven’t seen this much drama on television since MarshaBrady got hit in the nose with a football.There goes her date with Doug.Smear on the greasepaint, get ready for your close-up and write the...
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Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Seven #9
This week it’s all about pink bits. Pink ribbons, pink rubbish, and pink paint. Okay, I lied about the rubbish. To be honest, I lied one time about being a gymnast, too, but that’s not really relevant...
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Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Seven #10
I know a lot of you are time-poor, so this week I’m giving you a choice of recaps.First up, the express version:HITS. TITS. THAT’S ABOUT IT.And secondly, the full version, which we’ll call the ‘Float...
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Australia's Next Top Westie Scrag Series Seven #11
See, the producers, host and judges of this week’s episode seem to want to make us think that it’s all about being ‘epic’. Instead, I think it’s all about being prepared. Like being aware that the...
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